My 1st Deer!

I just had to share a picture of my first deer. My boys have been hunting for years, and I thought if you can't beat them, join them! I think this is my third year of hunting, but my first year of bow hunting. This is my first deer I've successfully shot and retrieved. It was quite rewarding after putting so much time and effort into this task! It was a 3 1/2 year old doe which I shot from a tree stand when she was about 10 yards away.

Country Air

I generally love living in the country. I especially love the fall when we can sleep with the windows open. I love the fresh, crisp, cool smells the blow in and the sounds of the nighttime critters. That is except one critter. Apparently, we had a skunk friend stroll through the property a few nights ago. I don't know what happened, but I was awaken from my sleep to my entire house filled with the aroma of skunk! It reeked! It was the kind of smell that was so bad, I was getting sick to my stomach and my eyes burned. I couldn't even go back to sleep. Morning came and I took a shower and went to work. I still smelled like skunk! That's one nighttime critter I could live without!

Pain...

Most of you know that my family is into the outdoors! We camp, bike, hike, fish, hunt, etc... From time to time we've also done a bit of caving. So when the opportunity to go caving came up through the boy's boy scout troop, I signed us all up! Not only that, I signed us all up for the hardest cave on the list. No problem, we're the McGuckin's, right!? Well let me tell you, this cave kicked our butts! The first hint of trouble should have come when the required caving gear was a helmet and knee pads. We aren't talking Mammoth Cave with concrete walkways and handrails. I wasn't troubled by the helmet/knee pad business, because we've been in smaller, crawl through it yourself caves. There was talk ahead of time about some mud water and crawling. That talk scared my youngest son, Damon. He opted to go in another cave. So, the rest of my family and another boy from scouts stuck with the original plan. We did encounter water. Water up to our thighs; water in a cave which is only 54 degrees. We did encounter mud. Mud up to our knees. The kind where your shoes get stuck, and which is really slippery when packed down. My husband found that out as he slid down a mud slope and smacked into me sending us both toppling into the mud. And, yes, we did encounter crawling. We did the army/belly crawl for 100 yards, the length of a football field. That's not all. The maximum ceiling height was 11 inches. You had to turn your head sideways, scoot your pack in front of you and belly crawl through the dirt and rocks. If that wasn't bad enough. This was a one way cave. Once we got to the end, we had to turn around and do it all over again. It really wasn't too bad while going through the cave. I felt pretty good. I wasn't too winded, and was actually having fun. It was quite the challenge, and we survived. It wasn't until I got out of the cave that the pain took over. I have bruises all over my body, my ankles, legs, hips, ribs, elbows, wrists, etc... It was then that I decided I really was getting old. My husband agreed and he never complains about anything.

Wrestling

I applied for a new job at work not long ago. It would be an upward promotion, and a positive step in my career, but I'm not sure I'm totally qualified. There are only two candidates in the pool, so I have a 50/50 shot at it. I had my interview earlier in the week, and kept anticipating hearing something. Days went by, my hopes dwindled, and self doubt began to kick in. I was feeling rather low on my way home from work, and mumbling my complaints to God. (I have a love/hate relationship with my 40 minute drive home.) Now keep in mind that I haven't officially heard that I did or didn't get the job yet, but I was just feeling totally rejected. My mind is telling me that they've probably offered the job to the other lady and just waiting on her to confirm before they tell me no thanks! It felt like God and I were having this wrestling match of emotions on that long drive home. Then it hit me that Jesus was absolutely rejected while here on earth. So, at least I'm not alone! :) My next thought was Jesus' response to that rejection. Well, he immersed himself in his Father and prayer. Christ's mission was to totally please His Father. Then that got me thinking about who I am really trying to please. I had myself absolutely worked up over what other men and women thought of me. If at the end of each day I know I've done my best to please my heavenly Father, than that day was a success. That is true if I keep my job now or get the new job. My focus should be the same. It was one of those light bulb moments and I suddenly came to peace with the whole situation.

In case you're wondering, I still haven't heard. I did have a meeting with the Director of Human Resources, two Vice Chancellors and the Chancellor today. At any rate, my life is in God's hands. Sometimes I need those gentle reminders when I try to hold onto it myself and get things mixed up. Peace!

Can you believe this?

So, my husband sent me this e-mail yesterday at work. It sounds like one of those weird fill in the blank word stories. Listen to this...

"We have a new pet! I was at the John Deer dealership in Bloomington trying to get the gator serviced. As I was leaving the parking lot, I saw a parakeet sitting on top of a truck. He seemed very friendly, but didn't want to be caught. There were some guys there selling fish who gave me their net. I caught him and he proceeded to bite me several times. I have him in a cage at work. Unless you are opposed, I plan to get a cage and supplies for him and keep it?"

Here's a picture of our new pet! I think we might name him John.

Where did August go?

I'm sure I say this often, but where does time go. The whole month of August flew by without any postings. Here's a few updates on what our family has been up to.

• Dan went to California to fight fires for 2 1/2 weeks.
• Jordan started High School this year! I really do feel old. I continue to pull a few gray hairs out to reinforce that feeling.
• Damon started Jr. High. They both seem to have adjusted fine, but I don't get much feedback from either of them.
• My work was a crazy zoo for about 3 weeks surrounding the beginning of class. I feel like I can finally breathe again. Our enrollments are up by about 20%, we got a new computer system, a new bookstore and are working with the same number of staff that we have for the last several years. All of those things factored into a "perfect storm" at Ivy Tech!
• We are all getting geared up for deer hunting season which starts on October 1st. This will be my first year of archery hunting. I've hunted during gun season the last two years and come up short each year. I think this may be the year I'm actually successful! Keep your fingers crossed!

I better run for now! Hope all is well with you and your family.

Turn signals

For you that grew up in northern Indiana, you can probably relate with this story. For you that didn't grow up with perpendicular country roads, I'll probably reinforce your thought that I am a complete goober! I spent my early years in northwest Indiana where there is a county road every 1/2 mile. All of the roads intersect nicely. If you make a 90 degree turn, you are going to turn on to a different road, thus necessitating your turn signal. Not the case in southern Indiana. You commonly make 90 degree turns and stay on the same road. It never fails, at least once a week, I use my turn signal when going around one of those 90 degree turns. The only problem is that I am still on the same road! I feel so silly! People behind me have to think I am completely nuts! (I don't feel bad all of the time, because my husband does it too; then again, he grew up in northwest Indiana also.)

When is the last time...

When is the last time you looked up at the clouds? That has become one of my treasured activities over the past few weeks. Summer is becoming one of my favorite times of the year, because I get to swim in our lake. It is glorious! I get to exercise without sweating. It's refreshing and quiet! And I get to lay on my back and look up at the clouds. I love looking at their different shapes and determining what they look like! Sometimes they look like a dolphin, or a table with four legs, or a dragon. The possibilities are limitless! The older I get, the more thankful I am for the simple things in life! Take a gaze up on the next cloudy day and tell me what you see!

REALLY!!??

My mom has been doing some "spring cleaning" around her house and decided after storing my wedding dress for the last 15 years it was time she handed it back to me. So, I had some spare time yesterday, was in the house all by myself, and decided I was going to try on my wedding dress. Sounds like fun, right? :) I took it out of the box and was admiring it once again. It still looked pretty good for being 15 years old. My first surprise came when I couldn't fit the sleeves over my arms. Huh? Then I attempted to zip up the back, but that attempt was also unsuccessful. By this point I was a bit disappointed. I mean, I know I've had two kids since then and gained a little weight, but...? This was outright depressing. I quickly slipped off what little portion of the dress I actually had on and tucked it nicely back in the box. My husband came inside not too long after this serious disappoint of mine. I shared with him that the dress no longer fit. Do you know what he said? He looked me in the eyes, smiled and said, "REALLY!!??" (I'm sure you had to be there to get the full effect.) He was so kind and acted surprised by the fact that the dress didn't fit.

Despite the fact that I was no longer able to fit into my wedding dress, my husband has come along in his "training" over the last 15 years and knew just how to respond to my comment!

Miracle

I ran across this quote from Albert Einstein recently, and it just stuck with me. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." The more I think about that, it really is true. Everything really is a miracle in this life! So I've taken extra note of the miracles around me and the beauty God has created! This morning turned out to be a beautiful, sunny morning! On my way to work there is a large forest of trees that make a wonderful canopy over the road. On sunny days the sun rays shine through onto the road creating a wonderful sight like a spotlight straight from heaven! Just think for a minute about the sun, and how it has to be the right distance from earth or it would be too cold or too hot for us to survive. Think about how amazingly our bodies are created, and the fact that our eyes can see light and dark, depth, and colors. Those are all miracles which I thank God for each day!

So what miracles have you seen lately?

Fatal Error

For those of you who are Mac users, you might find this story funny. For those of you who are Windows users, you might find this story all too common. A few days ago I was working on my old Windows computer when all of a sudden a box came us and said that my computer had recovered from a fatal error! Well, thank goodness it recovered, at least that time... So a few days later my husband was doing something on the computer and I shared the fatal error story. I commented that I really should save all of my documents and pictures on a CD just in case. Wouldn't you know, not more than two hours later the computer screen went black. I'm not quite sure what happened, but the computer didn't recover this time. Keep your fingers crossed that the skilled computer man will be able to fix it!

Lonely :(

So, I'm still sticking to my "anti-social" status from my last post, but I'm feeling kind of lonely! My family has been gone for 7 days now. I've had several days of freedom and doing whatever I want, and that was great! BUT... I'm tired of watching movies alone every night. I'm not a big people person, but I do love hanging out with my guys! Only 3 more days... :(

Home Alone!

Many of you know my three boys are on our family vacation for the year. They are with their boy scout group taking a 10 day backpacking trip to Isle Royale, the largest island in Lake Superior. That leaves me home alone for our family vacation this year. (I can hear the collective sighs and "Aawww's" from my faithful readers. Thanks!) For a brief amount of time I was feeling sorry for myself, until a friend said my 10 days home alone was really a vacation within itself. So that's the attitude I've adopted. So here's what I've discovered while being home alone:

• I slept in until 9:30 a.m. my first day alone, and got out of bed at 11:00 a.m. That was amazing! I don't think I've ever done that in my whole life!
• I've eaten more PB&J and ham sandwiches over the last few days than over the last few months! I really don't like to cook, especially when no one else is home.
• I still don't know what to do when you run out of toilet paper and no one is home to yell to get another roll! :)
• I took a swim and laid out on the beach this afternoon, another rare occurance when the family is around. The only thing I could hear was the sound of the many, many birds chirping away on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Amazing!
• I love watching movies at night all snuggled in my bed. We normally don't have a TV in our room, but I borrow a little one from the RV, so this is a special treat! Without fail I end up watching "Sweet Home Alabama."
• My house actually stays clean!
• I am beginning to understand just how antisocial I am. I really like being home alone! When give the opportunity to go somewhere, I chose to stay home by myself doing nothing! Is that sad or what?
• I don't really like being on my own at night though. I haven't started locking my doors at night, but occassionally let myself think of the "what ifs..." My security lies in a 70 lb. chocolate mutt that sleeps outside the door. He's quite loyal to his family, and doesn't really like anyone else.

Therapeutic weekend

I spent the weekend hanging out with two of my old high school friends. We made a pack two years ago to get together every year, so this was our second annual fling. I have been sooooo looking forward to it! I can only describe the weekend as therapeutic. There is something to be said about lifelong friends who you grew up with and know so much about. We are so far beyond the "superficial" conversations and thoughts about making a good impression or saying the right thing or wondering what they think about you. These are the friends that knew you when you went through the awkward years, and the many ups and downs of being a teenager, and they still choose to hang out with you! The conversations that we get to have now, a dozen plus years later, are so open and genuine and real. You get to talk about how life is "really" going without fear of being rejected or accused. Therapeutic is the best word my vocabulary has to describe the cherished time I get to spend with these ladies! Thanks gals! Love ya!

A little too close to home...

So, I've already been complaining about all of the rain we've had. No doubt you've heard in the national news about the major flooding in this part of the state. Things are really crazy. There are some areas that have had 8-12" of rain in the last week. We were kind of in our own little world, oblivious to the severity of the issue until Sunday morning. We went to church, only to find several dozen people gathered. The preacher was flooded out of town, and all but one of the musicians were also flooded out. That left us with a harmonica player and two singers. We learned that Columbus was virtually an island. There are numerous subdivisions, business areas, roads and interstates underwater. Columbus Regional Hospital had 12' (that is feet) of water in the basement, and had to evacuate all of the patients. (It may be months before they reopen.) There were several communities in Brown County that were totally flooded. Our local YMCA became a Red Cross shelter for the homeless. A friend from church lost everything in their home, and had to swim out of her house with her son and four dogs to safety. They were unable to get flood insurance, as their house is in the 100 year flood plain. (It's been nearly 100 years since the flooding was that bad.) It was quite overwhelming to hear of such devastation so close to home.

So, we're sitting in church singing "How Great Thou Art" with only a harmonica! It was beautiful! Before I knew it, tears just starting streaming down my face. It was just one of those moments when you are flooded with so many different emotions. The thought of the complete devastation all around, yet the notion that we still serve a great God who is all powerful!

In times of hardship, I guess you can either cling to God or turn your back. It was truly an amazing thing to see His church pull together and be His hands and feet in a hurting community.

Brown County drama...

If you know my family at all, you know that we are huge nature lovers! I just had to share this nature tale with you all. We've had a ton of rain in our area lately. All of the farm fields are totally flooded, and in many places the water is running over the back county roads and even the highways. So, my boys and were out and about yesterday, and decided to take the long way home. We were driving at a leisurely pace, noting all of the water everywhere. While slowing down to cross the water over the road we notice a very young fawn standing on the edge of the road. He couldn't have been more than a day or two old. He was wet as could be and shivering. We felt so bad for him. Our best guess is that the spot him momma had him hiding in got flooded, and he moved to the next driest area. That happened to be the road side.

A few miles later the boys spotted a deer swimming down one of the flooded fields. (My boys have X-ray eyes when it comes to spotting wildlife.) Not only was it a deer swimming down the field, but she had a small fawn following it. The fawn got caught in a current and was being swept down the field. Now, this isn't a stream; this is the middle of a corn field that happens to be seriously flooded and actually has a current of moving water. We had to stop and watch the drama unfold. The momma deer made it to a spot where the water wasn't so high, but by that time the little fawn was quite a distance from her. The little guy was swimming, but still being carried away. The momma finally went back out into the water and coaxed the fawn to follow her to drier ground. It was the most amazing thing! I just had to share! :)

My Greatest Fear

I see my last blog entry was about all of the rain we've been getting. Well, the rain hasn't slowed up. The last 24 hours have been quite stormy, complete with tornado warnings, sirens, power outages, etc... Just to preface this, my family and I are huge weather fanatics. So, I'm at work yesterday, my husband is out of town, and my two boys are home alone all day. (I hate leaving them home alone all day!!! Anyway!) I was online checking the weather and noticed a large band of storms coming. Being the "good" (maybe overprotective) mom, I called the boys to make sure they were inside and to let them know a storm was coming. Now I feel fine, until the storm starts rolling through my area. The big window in my office, shows the skies turning black, the rain pouring down, the electricity and telephones go out, and then the tornado sirens begin. We all have to shuffle down the hallways to an inside room, while we listen to the wind howl and reports of a tornado touching down. Just like someone flipping a switch, I get this horrible panic sense worrying about the boys home alone. The storm that we are experiencing would have just rolled through there area several minutes before. It was such a horrible feeling waiting to be dismissed from our secure area, until the time I could call the boys. Of course, they were find, but... It has always been my greatest fear that something would happen to one of the boys in my family and I wouldn't be there. Not that I would be able to do anything, but just the fact of being there would make me feel better. I guess it's the small notion that I am somehow in control of the situation. Although, when I watch these huge storms roll through, it is then that I realize how little control I really have, and the massive amount of power God has.

Did I mention that I LOVE rainy days?

I know the old saying, "April showers bring May flowers." Well it's May and the flowers are already up, so enough of this rain thing! Seriously! It seems like it has been raining non-stop for weeks now. So, a few weeks ago my driver's side windshield wiper broke. It was wiping away and then all of a sudden just flipped and was totally cockeyed! I've never seen anything like it before. I told my husband, who proceeded to just plop it back on. He used the vehicle the next day, which was rainy, and the windshield wiper was just fine. I get the vehicle back again the day after that, which was rainy, and the windshield wiper did the same flip thing again. This time I decided to take matters into my own hands and fix it myself. That didn't work so well. The whole wiper came off. So, now my wiper is laying in the seat next to me.

Following day, I have graduation for my work and am out late on a Friday night; once again it's raining. I hate driving at night, especially in the rain, and absolutely hate driving at night, in the rain without a windshield wiper. This is where my resourceful mind kicks in. I decide to take the windshield wiper (which is sitting next time), roll down my window and wipe the windshield with the wiper manually. Sorry, Dad (my driver's education instructor), I know that wasn't the safest thing to do, but...

The story continues. My husband "fixes" the wiper again after the last pathetic rain episode. IT BREAKS AGAIN, and is once again sitting in the seat next to me. Now, I failed to tell you how funny the wiper looks without the actual blade. It's like a little stub. So this time, I'm on my way home from work at it is absolutely pouring rain. I can't use the maual method I tried earlier, or I would be absolutely soaked. I resorted to putting my windshield wipers on regular speed, and just leaning over really far to the right to try to see out the passenger side which is being cleared. Once again, not a real safe thing to do. Then the little stub starts rubbing against the glass and making a horrific noise and scratching the window. I put my creative thinking to work again, and pushed the wiper away from the widow, like you would when you were cleaning the window. Now, I've got this stub of a wiper moving back and forth across the front of my window.

I'm beginning to lose my humor in this situation, and cursing myself for not getting it fixed. I finally made it home and decided to get the mail. I leaned over the passenger side and got MOST of the mail from the box. Wouldn't you know, a piece of mail drops to the ground. I look down, only to see a "river" of water running right under the mailbox with my letter right in the middle of the water. Did I mention that I LOVE rainy days?

Sibling Rivalry at its best!

I just had to share this Mother's Day card my kids/husband got for me. Just picture one of the little characters as Jordan and the other as Damon. This is my life...

Family Picture

I've posted a family picture for my pen pal from New Zealand. My email is really slow when I attache pictures, so this was the next best alternative. This pen pal and I have been corresponding since we were in high school over 15 years ago. We've kept in loose contact over the years. Despite living half a world apart, it's amazing how similar our lives really are!

A Table in the Presence

So, I'm rereading this book, A Table in the Presence--The Dramatic Account of How a U.S. Marine Battalion Experienced GOD'S PRESENCE amidst the Chaos of THE WAR IN IRAQ by Lt. Carey H. Cash. I've read it before and loved it then, but recently was looking for a good read. Our pastor has been preaching on the Sermon on the Mount from Matthew for the last few months, and recently came to the passage on loving your enemies. Maybe that's what prompted me to pull this book out again. Or maybe it was the fact that my son's best friend's day is in Iraq on his 2nd tour, and I see on a weekly basis how his family is coping? Or maybe it was because several of our young teenage boys who have gone through the church youth group are now in Iraq serving our country? I could be the constant attention in the news and the high gas prices? Anyway... I wanted to highlight a few things that I found interesting.

This is a prayer taken from the official Marine Corps Field Devotional Book. "It is called 'My Morning Offering.'

O God, for another day, for another morning, for another minute, for another chance to live and serve You, I am truly grateful.

Do...this day free me:
from all fear of the future,
from all anxiety about tomorrow,
from all bitterness towards anyone,
from all cowardice in the face of danger,
from all laziness in the face of work,
from all failure before opportunity,
from all weakness when Your power is at hand.

But fill me
with Love that knows no barrier,
with Sympathy that reaches all,
with Courage that cannot be shaken,
with Faith strong enough for the darkness,
with Strength sufficient for my tasks,
with Loyalty to Your Kingdom's goal,
with Wisdom to meet life's complexities,
with Power to life me to You.
Be with me for another day, and use me as You will. Amen."

In a later section, he talks about the importance of communion on the battlefield. These are his words, "All around the naked reality of man's failure and evil intent is exposed. Every piece of rubble is a commentary, every stain of blood is an advertisement of the failed work of humanity. Communion is a bold contradiction, for within it lies a mystery suggesting that a different ending is possible for our world and for our lives. An ending that doesn't result in the death and destruction of the battlefield, but in the hope and the glory of the empty tomb."

Cash later goes on to contrast a difference between the Muslim religion and the Christian faith. To gain entrance into heaven as a Muslim you must continually adhere to a rigorous legal code of laws and rules and perform many good works. Some interpret martyring oneself the ultimate sacrifice and guarantee into heaven. Cash says this of Christianity, "it is not the grandeur of our sacrifice that earns us heaven. Jesus Christ has already accomplished the single greatest act of obedience and self-sacrifice that this world will ever know. He was the martyr. His death, nor our own, assures us of eternal life. His sacrifice, and no one else's, guarantees the promise of heaven."

To me, that just solidified what God had been teaching me through listening to Exodus and Leviticus. I am so thankful that are free, and do not have to earn our way to heaven by our good works or through adhering to a strict set of laws. Christ paid the way for each of us! Amen!

Turkey #2 for the season

I just posted a picture of my son's turkey, and my husband just bagged his own on Friday. Sorry I don't have a nice story to share with this one. I know he had to chase it down a hill after he shot it and came back all hot and sweaty! Here it is...

Back to the weed thing...

So, I'm still pondering what my friend said the other day about discovering what God is trying to teach you in everthing you do. Each day on my way to work, I listen to my audio Bible. I just finished the New Testament, and decided to go back to the beginning of the Old Testament. I enjoyed Genesis and the beginning of Exodus. But then all of the laws and rules began. All through the end of Exodus and into Leviticus. It was a struggle to focus and pay attention to what was being said. There is a zillion rules for everything under the sun! Rules on what you should sacrifice if you've done something wrong. Rules about what you can and can't eat. Rules when you are clean and unclean. So, I thought of what my friend said, and I began to think about how this could be applicable to my life today. I was truly enlightened once again. Now this isn't rocket science, nor is it a new revelation, but rather wonderful reminders of what a wonderful God we serve. Here's what I relearned:

1. Thank goodness we don't have to live by "the law" anymore. I would have been a very poor person, because I'd have sacrificed every animal I own for all of the sins I've committed. God showed me by taking so much time in spelling out all of the laws, how hopeless it would be to try to uphold each law He made. There is no way we can be perfect or righteous in His sight. All of this helps explain our need for a perfect Savior.
2. The sacrifices offered in the Old Testament needed to be perfect and spotless. Jesus is my perfect and blameless sacrifice for all of my sins. Wow! Try to wrap your hands around that concept! How can you not live your life out every day in an utter state of joy, because of what He did for each of us? Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! :)

A Matter of Perspective

So I was chatting with a friend of mine at work the other day. I shared how I had spent hours pulling weeds at the cabin where we live. I wouldn't quite call it complaining, but just expressing my dislike for weeding. :) On the contrary, she said that she actually liked to do landscaping and weeding. After I plainly told her she was crazy, she proceeded to tell me why. She said in everything she does, she tries to see what God might be teaching her. Not a bad idea. So, here's her take on pulling weeds. If we just break the tops off, the weed still comes back, right? Those are kind of like problems; if we just "break the top off" and don't really get to the heart of the issue, then the problems keep coming back. You can also think of the root analogy. The deeper the roots, the stronger the plant. It got me thinking about my roots being in God, and how deep my roots are. Am I strong and healthy with a deep root base? It's all just a matter of perspective...

Budding Artist?

So, we've always known that our youngest son liked the arts. He loves getting art supplies for gifts and is always creating something new out of whatever he can find. He takes pride in his drawings and creations. One day I came home from work and found this painting on my couch. I just assumed it was my youngest son who painted it. Much to my surprise, it was Jordan who created this in art class. I was quite impressed. He's never liked the arts, and I didn't know he was able to create something quite this impressive. This painting won some award and was displayed at one of the many art studios in town. Way to go Jor! (The picture looks better in real life, but this is a pretty good photo.)

Turkey

Here's a picture of the turkey my oldest son shot last month. He just seems to have all the luck and is in the right place at the right time. Dan & I were moving logs at a friend's house down the road. We dropped our two sons off in a field to go turkey hunting, and told them that we would be by every hour as we continued to move logs. Sure enough after the first load of logs, less than an hour later, Jor had his turkey. He set up his blind, and barely sat down before this gobbler walked up to his decoy. The rest is history...

Deer mount #2

Since I posted a picture of my son's deer mount, I figured I should do the same for my husband's first big buck. Jor's got nicknamed "Red," but we dont' have a name for this one yet.

Shades of grey!

I really enjoy putting these random thoughts from my head in writing! It somehow seems to complete my thinking process! So, the older I get the more and more I feel like the world is really painted in shades of grey. These days I feel so much like a fence sitter. I can easily argue both sides of so many arguments/discussions. I have a harder time coming down on one side or the other. I hear the word "intolerant" screaming in my head, a word that many Christians get labeled as. I don't want to be tolerant of things I should be tolerant of, yet so many issues are not black or white. And I'm really a black or white kind of person. It's yes or no, right or wrong, black or white. The shades of grey are an area of discomfort and uneasiness, yet so much a part of my life that I must become "tolerant" of the greyness!

On a side note, just in case you were wondering, we all survived the big earthquake that struck 120 miles from our home. No damage or loss of life! :) I love it that my boys got to experience the quake though. My youngest son was actually sitting outside under a tree at 5:37 a.m. when it happened. I couldn't wait for him to come running in to my bedroom all wide eyed and tell me his version of what happened.

A friend passed this email along to me not long ago. She had a friend who lost their baby at 21 weeks, and these are a few of her reflections. I was moved, so I thought I would share...

"I don't even know how to answer the question of how I'm doing anymore. God is good and I long to be with him. This world is hard and I know he is drawing me near to him. Sometimes I resent that. I just want life to be fun, I think of myself as a fun loving person. However, I also recognize that when things are 'good'or 'easy' (which has been most of my 33 years) how far away from him I grow.Theologically, I don't believe God has caused all these things in my life or that he is testing me, but his glory will be had in all things in my life, the good and the bad. I am his, my marriage is his, my family is his. Satan, no matter how he chooses to rear his ugly head in my life, has no place in my life because it is that. Life. Satan is death. I am in a constant battle of taking my thoughts captive. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don't.

I do feel like we are doing well, all things considered. You would be surprised with how you would be able to handle situations thrown at you, especially as a wife and mom. You do what you have to do, you don't have any other choice. When we had Isaac I remember my doctor saying to Mike and I, "You sure are taking allof this really well." It made me laugh because I don't really know what the expectation was, but I'm forced to deal with anything that happens in my life, good or bad. The only choice I do have is how I handle it. Do I fall apart sometimes? Absolutely, more than I'd like. It's what I do after I fall apart that I think counts."

A little culture

Holy Cow! Time has a way of flying by, whether you like it or not. My last bog post was almost a month ago. I guess I'm still adjusting to working full time, in addition to the many other motherly duties. So I'm trying to think of noteworthy news over the last month. Here's what I've come up with.

• Jordan took his first missions trip to eastern Kentucky. They helped some folks by redoing a roof, porch and other misc. needs. We have such a great group of teens and adults (who choose to spend their spring break with this gang). I'm glad our boys have been able to grow up with such a loving church family.
• Jor and his best friend advanced to the state level in History Day. (For those of you who don't know about History Day, it's kind of like a science fair where people have different exhibits, but all history related.) He was pretty excited!
• Dan and I got a little culture this weekend. Some friends of ours took us to a fancy restaurant in Indianapolis and to the theater. We saw "Twelve Angry Men." It was really pretty good. We don't get out much to do things like that, so it was a good change of pace. Our friends are like an adopted set of parents who live down the road; we had a great time hanging out with them for the evening.
• I love how God puts the things you need to hear in your path. I taught Sunday school yesterday, and the lesson was on joy. The premise was that you can find joy even when things don't go your way. We are constantly going through things in life that try to steal our happiness or joy. The truth is that no matter what is happening all around us, we can still have joy by knowing our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and thanking Him for the sacrifices He's made for us. Funny how the lessons we are trying to pass along on to the kids today, are lessons we are still trying to master as adults.

Sledding!

So we finally got our first real accumulating snow of the year, even if it didn't come until March 7th. The boys were so excited to be able to have a snowball fight, make snow forts and go sledding. Yippee! Damon made a huge snow fort; to let you know how serious this thing was, he used our wheelbarrow to transport the snow. We found a smallish, but fairly steep hill on the backside of our leave to go sledding down. We just had to dodge the briers, small trees and fence. It was all good fun until I had a "brain fart" and failed to put the brakes on (aka put my feet down) and ran full speed into the fence. No harm done to the fence; my family got a huge laugh as I apparently bounced off the fence and went flying backwards. Needless to say, my shins are a little bruised and sore, and I have a serious pain in my shoulder! I'm sure it could have been on America's Funniest Home Videos!

Stitches & Staples

I just had to show you a picture of the 3" hole that was in my son's leg. It got all patched up with 1 stitch and 20 staples. Just in case you were wondering, here's the story: It was Sunday evening. The temperature was about 70 degrees. (This was the first nice day in months.) We were all outside playing basketball. My oldest son, Jordan, went up for a layup and some how came down on the basketball pole which had a bolt sticking out. He caught the bolt just right and it ripped a huge hole in his leg. I have to say he was quite a trooper and totally calm through the whole ordeal.

Random thoughts/happenings...

• Just had to share one of those laugh out loud moments. We've had several ice storms here lately. That has left many cars with 1/4" or more of ice on their hoods and car tops. At random times, you'll see huge sheets of ice fly off the tops of cars and then crash into the pavement. It's quite a sight to see, as long as you're not the car right behind.
• Some might call in coincidence, but I call it God's hand at work. I have a good friend, Lauri, that I haven't seen in many weeks. I have intended to call her many times, but haven't made it happen. Today, I had the whole day to myself and decided to go shopping. I had intentions to call her on my cell phone while shopping, but my husband had my phone for the day. (This is the part of the story, where I love to see how God works.) I just pulled in the Bed, Bath and Beyond parking lot, and Lauri pulls in right next to me! :) It just happened that her kids were out of town visiting family and she had the whole afternoon free. I also had the whole day to myself. We spent the afternoon shopping and having lunch together. It was wonderful!!!!! I don't get much "girl time," so I had to smile at God's timing and His wonderful way of taking care of us. (On a side note, Lauri lost her husband two years ago in a freak accident; he was only 40 years old and they had two young boys. She is a remarkable woman of faith and proves to be a wonderful role model for living out a life of faith.)
• I continue to battle living a life of contentment, and being satisfied with where we are at in life now. I remember when the boys were little and took so much time and energy, and longing for the days when they were older and could do more on their own. Well, they are older now, but they fight like cats and dogs and we have a whole new set of difficulties; so I find myself longing for quieter days when they are out of the house. Yet, so many people say we will actually miss them when they move out of our house. When I am at work, I feel guilty for not being home. When I am at home, things are crazy and I wish I was at work. I think of what my friend, Juli, said not long ago about slowing down and "taking time to smell the flowers." I am also reminded of Paul's words in Philipians 4:11-13, "...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content, in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who strengthens me." So, that is the longings of my heart, to be content whatever the circumstances.

Power of a song...

So, a few years ago I attended a Children's Pastor's Conference in Orlando, FL. The worship leader, Michael Neale sang a song called "Come to Jesus" which just touched me so much at the time. You ever have those moments when someone says just want you needed to hear. Well that was the case with this song, which has stuck with me over the years. I love this simple reminder that no matter what we go through, it is never too big of a burden for our Savior to hold. I think of you, the few loyal readers that I know of, and some of the major burdens that you have had to carry over the years. I pray a prayer of thanksgiving that you all know the Lord, but also that you will let Him carry your burdens. So be encouraged by the words of this song:

He will lift your burden
Let Him carry the load
There’s no heart too heavy for
the arms of Jesus to hold
So if your heart is broken
Let Him heal you now
Though you feel so far away
Look up ‘cause you have been found

So come to Jesus
Wounded weary soul
Come to Jesus
He will make you whole

So child your Savior calls to you
He just wants you to know
That He will meet you where you are
Your hand he’ll never let go

So come to Jesus
Wounded weary soul
Come to Jesus
He will make you whole

He will lift your burdens
Let Him carry the load
There’s no heart too heavy for
There’s no heart too heavy for
There’s no heart too heavy for
the arms of Jesus to hold

"Come to Jesus" by Michael Neale

A few side notes...

• A first happened in my life today. I got my teeth/gums "power washed" today. Have any of you ever experience this?
• A beautiful small blanket of snow has fallen in our region today. Despite the snow and cold temperatures, I heard the birds chirping letting me know that spring isn't too far away!
• Actually we're getting freezing rain right now. Maybe my work/school will be cancelled tomorrow!?

Joyful events...

Sometimes I get so caught up in the BIG things of live that I fail to find the most joy possible in the little things. So here's a few of the little things that are a bright spot in my life now.

• I love my new job! Most of all, I love not being in charge and just doing what other people tell me to do.
• I love the way God works, and the people He places in your life at the right time. I have a new friend, Lucy, at work. (There's something about that name, but everyone I know named Lucy is a saint in my book!) She works down the hall, and is new here also. God just knew that I needed a friend.
• Another blessing, my boys are now in seperate rooms. They've shared a room since they were little, but now that they are getting older we've realized it is time for their own space. Unfortuantely, our barn/apartment is very small. We converted the office/snake room/guest room into Jordan's bedroom. He now sleeps in a loft above our 10 foot boa constrictor. It may be too soon to tell, but I think this may cut down on some of thier fighting. At least that is our hopes!
• February brings the time of year for maple syrup making. It has been a longstanding tradition for the gentleman who owns the property where we live to tap maple trees each winter. It is a delightful (but hard, time consuming, labor intensive) process, that we look forward to each year. We've already collected over 150 gallons of sap. The boys' boy scout troop is coming over tomorrow to learn the process of boiling it down and making it into syrup.

Life with a TEENAGER...

So, it's 5:00 p.m. on Friday evening... I'm on my way home, tired from a long week at work and just ready to put on my pajamas and veg out in front of the TV all night, when I get a call from my 14 year old. He wants to go to the basketball game in town and a 5th Quarter event at our church after the game. The kicker is the church event doesn't get done until 11:30 p.m. (Most of you know that I'm not a morning person, but I'm also not a late night person. I'm normally in bed by 9:30 or 10:00 p.m. I know that's totally wimpy, but I've always required a lot of sleep.)
So, being a parent for over a decade now, I'm quite used to running my kids around; boy scouts one night, church another, at various times basketball/baseball/soccer, etc... I'm totally fine with all of that. I normally stay for whatever event is going on, and those events get done at a reasonable hour in the evening. I'm just not ready to leave my child unsupervised somewhere for hours, and then have to pick him up well after my bedtime. On top of that, we live 20 minutes from town. It's not like a quick trip to pick him up.
I guess we've been fortunate that most everything we do is together as a family. Jordan really doesn't ask to go to many events. He would rather be hunting or fishing, instead of going to social events.

Reflections...

Well, I just finished my first week of full-time employment. I can't believe I've been out of college for 15 years, and have yet to work a full-time job. So, here's a few reflections on my week:

• Phew! I am exhausted! I used to work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from about 8:45 a.m. to 3:15 p.m. My new job is five days a week from 7:20 a.m. to 5:40 p.m. I have been quite spoiled! Maybe, spoiled isn't the right word? How about blessed? I feel blessed to have been able to be home most of the time with my boys while they were younger. Those are cherished years!
• While we are on the subject of me leaving for work at 7:20 a.m., I don't think I mentioned that I am not an early morning person. I detest getting up early, just ask my husband and kids. So in this matter, I have been spoiled!
• I don't get home until about 5:40 p.m., and the boys get home around 3:40 p.m., which leaves them alone for two hours in the afternoon. I didn't anticipate that being so difficult for me, but I feel like I have abandoned them. For instance, if it was raining I always picked them up from the bus at the end of the drive (which is quite long). Wouldn't you know it, but twice this week it was pouring down rain when they got off the bus. I felt so guilty for not being there to pick them up. They have also picked up some additional chore responsibilities during those two hours, like cleaning and cooking. They have always helped around the house, but now I feel guilty for having them do those things, because I am not there. For the last 14+ years, my main job has been to take care of my boys, so it's been difficult to make this transition.
• My new job is about 35-40 minutes from my home, which leaves me long amounts of time alone in the car. I've been able to watch the sunrise each morning on my way to work. I just got a new MP3 player for my listening enjoyment. I also pulled out my audio CD's of the Bible and have been listening to those during my commute. I have already come to enjoy those semi-quite times.
• I have to take an hour long lunch break each day, which I am not used to doing. That seemed a bit odd at first, but it has been nice to be able to run errands, do grocery shopping or just get out of the office.
• O.k., so enough about me complaining about being tired, getting up early and missing my boys, I love my new job! My new boss is a very nice, helpful, Christian man who I think will be a joy to work with. The people in the student affairs department all seem very nice, and many of them are Christian folks also. The gal that used to hold this position is just down the hall a few doors, so she has also been very helpful in answering questions. The administrative/scheduling/detail orientated work is what I love to do, so I am in my element there! I think it will be a good fit!

One Year Later...

I just had to show you a picture of our latest wall decoration. Jordan shot his big buck over a year ago, and has been eagerly awaiting the call from the taxidermist saying it was done. We picked "Red" up on Wednesday. You can't tell from the picture, but the fur on top of his head has a very reddish tint to it. I think he looks quite handsome! (Dan's big buck he shot in late 2006 should be done within the next few months, so "Red" won't be lonely for long.) Jor is pretty proud of his new trophy, and was talking about how that deer mount will be one the few items he will cherish and hold onto over his lifetime.

Awwwwwww!

Thursday was my last day at the church, so I spent part of the day cleaning out my office and erasing old files on my computer. I came to the "My Pictures" folder and found a file named "I Love You Corrie." I stopped for a moment, knowing that I didn't create that file. Then it dawned on me that my husband must have put it on my computer. Apparently, he created several years ago and I never found it until my last day at work! Awwwww! I thought that was so sweet!