Wrestling

I applied for a new job at work not long ago. It would be an upward promotion, and a positive step in my career, but I'm not sure I'm totally qualified. There are only two candidates in the pool, so I have a 50/50 shot at it. I had my interview earlier in the week, and kept anticipating hearing something. Days went by, my hopes dwindled, and self doubt began to kick in. I was feeling rather low on my way home from work, and mumbling my complaints to God. (I have a love/hate relationship with my 40 minute drive home.) Now keep in mind that I haven't officially heard that I did or didn't get the job yet, but I was just feeling totally rejected. My mind is telling me that they've probably offered the job to the other lady and just waiting on her to confirm before they tell me no thanks! It felt like God and I were having this wrestling match of emotions on that long drive home. Then it hit me that Jesus was absolutely rejected while here on earth. So, at least I'm not alone! :) My next thought was Jesus' response to that rejection. Well, he immersed himself in his Father and prayer. Christ's mission was to totally please His Father. Then that got me thinking about who I am really trying to please. I had myself absolutely worked up over what other men and women thought of me. If at the end of each day I know I've done my best to please my heavenly Father, than that day was a success. That is true if I keep my job now or get the new job. My focus should be the same. It was one of those light bulb moments and I suddenly came to peace with the whole situation.

In case you're wondering, I still haven't heard. I did have a meeting with the Director of Human Resources, two Vice Chancellors and the Chancellor today. At any rate, my life is in God's hands. Sometimes I need those gentle reminders when I try to hold onto it myself and get things mixed up. Peace!